Those that know me know that I love a bit of fizz and am partial to the odd glass of red wine.
Usually Christmas for me symbolises a time where I can really let my hair down, drink every day with abandon and really enjoy the festivities with friends.
This year has been a little different however….
I have been caught up with ‘doing the work‘ as Byron Katie would say. I finally realised that instead of banging my head against a brick wall in my personal and professional life and expecting a different outcome, the time has come to deal with the sh*t.
I started listening to a podcast by Erika Cramer entitled: The Confidence Chronicles. Erika is a straight talking life coach from Puerto Rico, currently living in Melbourne, who starts every podcast with: “Hola, hola..this is your girl Erika, from America.”;)
Her rhetoric (#FWOT – f#ck what others think) and almost continual stream of cuss words could easily offend, but something resonated for me and over Christmas I binge listened to her podcasts. She has had a desperately hard upbringing and has experienced a great deal of trauma, both physical and emotional throughout her life.
Now as a mama and confidence coach, she is working on a daily basis to deal and process everything she and her family has been through. She believes we all have the ability to change our stories rather than crumble under the resigned acceptance of what is and champions and empowers women everywhere to start ‘this work’.
One stand out podcast for me was “Mama, are you numbing out with alcohol?“.
Now, I have always prided myself on my ability to moderate when it comes to alcohol but to be honest I have always associated drinking with relieving social anxiety and letting me be me without the hang ups and intrusive thoughts that so often get in the way. It has been my crutch, albeit a moderate crutch but has certainly been my traditional coping mechanism throughout the party season.
This year I decided to step out of my comfort zone and embrace ‘mindful drinking’. Often I didn’t drink until the very end of the party if at all, and although I found it tough to let go of the inner self conscious voice that wanted me to make my excuses and run away, I breathed through it and faced my ‘demons’.
And do you know what?
It wasn’t half bad.
As Bryony Gordon so beautifully expressed on January 1st:
“The Best way for 2020 is to accept the ‘old’ you in all her imperfect, complicated glory.
She’s f#cking great;)!”